Lately: Another House?

Now that I'm back in Seattle for the foreseeable future, we're kinda-sorta-maybe looking to buy a house again. After paying a mortgage on the Gig Harbor house, paying rent for an apartment just feels so futile.  And since the prospectus for the area is so positive for the next 10+ years, we decided now is better than later.  My lease doesn't expire for another 6-ish months, but we've put a toe back in to the real estate market.

But you guys, this is crazy.

I started by re-educating myself about the market using current inventory and past comps.  And when I saw what it looks like, my first reaction was:

Prices have increased by like $100,000 across in the last 2 years.  So that took a while to get over (like 2 months).  I kept obsessively researching and apparently I have to read the same thing from about 120 different sources for me to half-heartedly accept that this is where things are at.  

But then I finally made a list of potential properties in multiple areas and starting looking at them one by one.

There were 7 houses (in 4 different neighborhoods) in my first list, and this is basically how looking at them went:

So I took a 2 week break while Steven and I re-assessed whether we really wanted to do this.  In the end, the answer was still yes.  But I had to give myself a little pep talk before making and seeing another list.

Going forward, I decided to work my way through one neighborhood at a time to keep it a little more focused.  But it didn't go very well and I was getting pretty discouraged by what I was seeing:

And then about a month ago, I went back to Gig Harbor for a visit.  

Since then, we've accepted that we'll be happiest on the west side of the Puget Sound.  That area really encapsulates what we love about living in the Puget Sound, and luckily for us it's a little more affordable.  So now we at least know the general area we'd like to stick to.

And we're continuing the hunt for a specific house or property.  But the more we look, the more we're coming around to the idea that our best option is to buy a few acres with a meh (okay, in most cases down-right shitty) house, tearing it down, and rebuilding.

It's a daunting idea, but relatively attractive considering our other options.  And maybe it's just this time of year, but I'm feeling a lot like I did a year ago when I was packing.

So there. In the space of the last 5 months I've gone from "omg I'm so bored in Dubai" to "maybe we'll just build a custom house on the Puget Sound."

Sounds about right.

Gig Harbor House: SOLD!

We got the news in the wee hours on Tuesday - the Gig Harbor house has officially closed!  We are relieved, and happy, and thankful for everyone who has helped us through this from 1/2 a world away (yes, Dads...we're talking to you!)

I'm not gonna lie though - I was a tiny bit sad to let go of our first home. When we bought it in 2014, we knew it wasn't our forever home (if such a thing exists for us) but we expected to be there a lot longer than 18 months. We were tempted to rent it so we could hold on to it, but in the end the financial risk was greater than the emotional reward. 

But then I checked our bank account this morning.  We had gone into the sale process aiming to break even, and tried to be conservatively skeptical every time we received a net sheet.  Now that the beans are all counted, we did so much better. 

Don't lie. I know y'all do this too sometimes.

Even Sven was pleased with how it all worked out:

We are no longer home owners.  
WE.  ARE.  FREE.  
*sigh*

Gig Harbor House: the Whatever Stage

A few of you have asked for updates about the Gig Harbor House.  

It could be my new Zen/Sven attitude, or that all the "stuff" is pretty much over, or that my real estate agent (wisely) decided it's better to spare me all the gory details...but it's been pretty uneventful lately.

We have the seller's documents in hand, and we're just waiting for our notary appointment with the Consulate.  So at the moment, this is all we can do:

If all goes according to plan, we'll close just before heading off to Bahrain for our mini-break.

Gig Harbor House: On Selling - Heather vs. Steven

As some of you already know, we put our house up for sale in Gig Harbor around mid-March.  We accepted an offer a few days after listing and have been moving through the escrow/closing process ever since.  Today, I talked to the title company to arrange the details for signing the final papers in a few days (getting things notarized takes a little more effort here).

And then tonight, I got an email saying the buyers will not be moving forward with the transaction (we're not sure why).  Thirty-three days into the process and like a week from closing, and they will not be buying our house.

WHAT.  

Ugh. As always, we'll just move forward.  The only thing we can do is re-list and try again.  But this is the range of emotions I had within the first 10 minutes of receiving the news:

And this was the range of Steven's emotions from the minute we heard until the moment he went to bed:

So basically, this is our marriage:

we're different, but we dig it

Gig Harbor House: Buying and Selling

We always knew that selling our house in an unpredictable market only 18 months after we bought it would be an interesting experience.  And oh it has.  My father-in-law is a real estate agent and he keeps reminding me that, "You just never know" when it comes to buying and selling houses.  

And while I keep repeating this mantra, I'm still shocked when we get unexpected news.

When buyer #1 inspection is totally benign, and then buyer #2 asks for $4,000 in repairs.

But while we're on the subject, I've had some time to reflect on the hilarious differences between buying and selling this house.  

Selling our house:

Pricing

Signing an offer

Inspection repair requests

The net sheet

After closing (at least this is how I expect to feel)

When we bought our house:

We had no idea what was happening and it felt like magic.

But as we go farther down the path of escrow #2 I'm trying to adopt a more Zen attitude, inspired in part by my cool as a cucumber spouse.  In a nutshell:

Imma try

A Belonging I Can't Place

I drove to Gig Harbor yesterday and I can't decide whether it was a good or bad idea.  While it was wonderful to revisit our former little town, it also left me with a sense of longing that I wasn't expecting.  I drove around the familiar streets, took in the familiar sights, and talked to some of our friends/neighbors, and couldn't help feeling like maybe I belonged in this sleepy little town full of boats, trees, retirees, crazy squirrels, and laid-back deer.  And that's just not something I was prepared for.

This might be a first.  I've never been attached to a particular house, town, or location of any kind.  Sure, there have been a few in the past that I really liked - but none have made my heart swell and my bones ache at the same time.  But I should point out - I don't feel like I don't belong in other places. It's more that I don't think/feel/consider "belonging" as a physical concept.  That is, until quite suddenly yesterday...I felt it.  

What. Is. Happening.

And now a day later, the more I think about it the bluer I become.  People have always been my only anchors, not places.  And as I try to explore my surprising emotions, I know that so much of it is inextricably tied to how much I miss Steven.  I think Gig Harbor was the first place where we've both been really happy (as opposed to him hating LA, me hating Vegas, and both of us being ambivalent to Belltown), and that satisfaction with our surroundings made everything a little sparklier (is that a word?)  What I can't separate right now is whether I feel this way because I miss our quaint little town, the happy little life we built there, or just simply Steven.  I have a feeling it's all three rolled into a giant, heart-stopping, triple-whammy.  And either way, it hit me like a ton of bricks and I've spent my day trying to avoid the creeping sadness.

Note to self: it's not that helpful to look at photos of your missing loves when trying to "keep it together"

But distraction is the key to compartmentalization, or at least it is for me. So first I tried hunting for some new neighborhoods that are gaining popularity and a lot closer to work.  Long story short - I hated all 3 of them.  Strike one.

Second, I went to an RV dealership to look at travel trailers because I don't know.  Strike two.  

And then finally, I fell back on my tried-and-true reliance on culinary therapy.  One grocery trip and 6 hours later, I have a pot of homemade Korean oxtail soup.  Of course, now it's after midnight and I'm just going to bed without eating any.  But that's okay, mission more or less accomplished.  The effort was distraction enough to keep me from going off the deep end.  And perhaps coming home to something yummy tomorrow will make my day a little brighter.  It's the little things, right?

Image and recipe: HipFoodieMom

Before I crawl into bed, here's a little cuteness from a couple years ago in Gig Harbor.

I'm disregarding what I said earlier about not looking at things I miss.  Oh, and there was probably a squirrel behind me.

Goodnight.

Dubai Life: Dreaming of Winter

It's September 18th and it was ~105 F in Dubai.  And while this is much better than a few weeks ago when my balcony thermometer read 130+, I got a little bummed about the upcoming lack of winter weather.  Dubai should get significantly cooler through January-February, and it'll be awesome.  But it'll still be in the 70's, which isn't quite the kind of cold I'm missing.  (I know, I know, complaining for no reason.)

When I left New York I thought I'd had my fill of winter weather.  Going to college in Philadelphia and then working in New York meant 6 years of feeling chilled to the bone from my feet up, sloshing through gray nastiness on my way to school/work, and feeling like my face was going to fall off the entire way there.  And I was just not ready for that kind of fun.  So I ran to the endless summer of LA and it was glorious.  But surprisingly, I longed for fall/winter in each of the four years I spent there.

Photo from my company Christmas party in 2012.  This is what winter in LA feels like.

And now that we're in the super sunny desert of Dubai, I am again missing the chill mornings, crisp air, and changing scenery that signals the coming of winter.  And because I'm feeling infinitely cheesy, this is today's anthem.  (Yeah, I know it's not the same thing at all, but whateverrrrr.)

While I listened to this song about 18 times, I looked through my old photos of Gig Harbor and Reno winters and fell in love all over again. I'm so grateful for those memories, the cool weather and warm fireplace, and for my Sven who stands beside me as I traipse all over the country world because I cannot stay put want to experience different things.  Even if said different things aren't always "better."

I loved driving up the 395 each Christmas - such a stark contrast going from sunny LA to snowy Reno.  

The Gig Harbor House fireplace was Phoebe's first.  She was skeptical at first, but quickly warmed to it.

The best profile in the family.

One of my favorite photos - my parent's backyard in Washoe Valley, NV.

Abu Dhabi Life: 2 months

It's been 2 months (+/- a few days) since I moved back to the UAE to be with Steven. In all, we spent 18 months/569 days living apart and even though we're not strangers to long distance, neither one of us is keen on doing it again anytime soon. This was our 4th bout of long distance in the last ~10 years and I don't know if it was the specific circumstances, our old(er) age, how much closer/more bonded we were after winging it in Dubai the previous year, or just the longer length of time - but it was the pits. So we're not going to be doing that again for a long while, hopefully ever.

But happily, the time here has flown by really quickly. I'm not even sure where to start with this post but I'm just going to posit that I have only trace amounts of culture shock this time around.

Steven isn't here right now so he can't disagree with that last statement.

I've been sitting here patiently expecting to feel the familiar WTF IS THIS culture shock/chaos that was rampant last time. But it hasn't really shown up and I'm not sure if it's just a delayed start, or if re-entry is just going to be smoother. When I think about it though, it makes sense that this time would be easier.

A quick recap since I know my posts have been sporadic and a little thin on details for a while: When we first moved to Dubai a couple years ago, every circumstance was more difficult (see here if you missed my long and emotional rants). We were new to the UAE and didn't know how anything worked or what to expect, which made it feel me really unstable. And our first house/villa didn't feel like a comfortable place since it was either almost empty (in the beginning), flooded (okay, that was just for a few hours), without running water (three separate times!), etc.  And it didn't help that we were also trying to sell our Gig Harbor house, a bit anti-social, and I was a ball of pure stress (that's just how I get sometimes). 

A day in the life (sometimes).

So it was kind of doomed to be difficult. But even so, it was still a great experience and the closeness that Sven and I achieved is the stuff (my) dreams are made of. Plus, the travel opportunities were pretty great. But I really felt like I had unfinished business in my work/my professional life, and it haunted me enough that I decided to move back to the states alone. I ended up regretting that solo move about 6 months in, but c'est la vie. We had committed to meeting some goals together and at that point it didn't make sense not to see it through. And once those goals were met, it didn't make sense to be apart.  But instead of Steven moving back to the US to join me, we changed our minds and I came back to the UAE instead.

And now I'm back here, this time in Abu Dhabi rather than Dubai. So far everything is the same in terms of what I remember of the culture, the weather, the rules, expat life, etc. But this time I feel very different - probably because Sven and I are in a different place in our marriage/life. I'm sure it also helps that we're in more comfortable digs and Steven has become so knowledgeable about how things work here. But I also think the time apart changed our perspectives and deepened our appreciation for one another in a way that's hopefully lasting.  It's really cheesy but I wake every morning grateful we get to be together this day and the next, without a plane to catch that'll take us one of us a world away. And while that feeling might eventually fade and be replaced by the mundane everyday rituals, for now the warm and fuzzy feeling still permeates my everyday. So in the present it's hard to get worked up about a non-working toilet, slightly too-warm rooms, or two flat tires in 2 weeks (yep, that happened).  Well, hard for me to get worked up - Steve is his own person.  ;)

He especially loves when I say this in response to one of those issues.

All joking aside though, I'm really content with where I am right now. I didn't end up bringing my job with me (last minute wrench), but I'm pretty pleased with how things worked out anyway. My days now are much slower paced and most of the time nothing very exciting is happening. I'm just a housewife (according to my visa), cooking up a storm, reading a bunch of books, and filling herself back up with all the things she once wanted to do/be/embody. It's boring but awesome and grounding in a way I can't quite describe yet. With each passing day I can feel the angst, the pressure, the competition, and the stress fading away as I slowly replace it with all the things I love and still want to embrace in the years to come. One day, one meal, one book, and one decision at a time.

I don't know what the upcoming months and years have in store, but that's okay because it no longer eats at me. And that, my dear ones, is the point.