Abu Dhabi Life: 2 months

It's been 2 months (+/- a few days) since I moved back to the UAE to be with Steven. In all, we spent 18 months/569 days living apart and even though we're not strangers to long distance, neither one of us is keen on doing it again anytime soon. This was our 4th bout of long distance in the last ~10 years and I don't know if it was the specific circumstances, our old(er) age, how much closer/more bonded we were after winging it in Dubai the previous year, or just the longer length of time - but it was the pits. So we're not going to be doing that again for a long while, hopefully ever.

But happily, the time here has flown by really quickly. I'm not even sure where to start with this post but I'm just going to posit that I have only trace amounts of culture shock this time around.

Steven isn't here right now so he can't disagree with that last statement.

I've been sitting here patiently expecting to feel the familiar WTF IS THIS culture shock/chaos that was rampant last time. But it hasn't really shown up and I'm not sure if it's just a delayed start, or if re-entry is just going to be smoother. When I think about it though, it makes sense that this time would be easier.

A quick recap since I know my posts have been sporadic and a little thin on details for a while: When we first moved to Dubai a couple years ago, every circumstance was more difficult (see here if you missed my long and emotional rants). We were new to the UAE and didn't know how anything worked or what to expect, which made it feel me really unstable. And our first house/villa didn't feel like a comfortable place since it was either almost empty (in the beginning), flooded (okay, that was just for a few hours), without running water (three separate times!), etc.  And it didn't help that we were also trying to sell our Gig Harbor house, a bit anti-social, and I was a ball of pure stress (that's just how I get sometimes). 

A day in the life (sometimes).

So it was kind of doomed to be difficult. But even so, it was still a great experience and the closeness that Sven and I achieved is the stuff (my) dreams are made of. Plus, the travel opportunities were pretty great. But I really felt like I had unfinished business in my work/my professional life, and it haunted me enough that I decided to move back to the states alone. I ended up regretting that solo move about 6 months in, but c'est la vie. We had committed to meeting some goals together and at that point it didn't make sense not to see it through. And once those goals were met, it didn't make sense to be apart.  But instead of Steven moving back to the US to join me, we changed our minds and I came back to the UAE instead.

And now I'm back here, this time in Abu Dhabi rather than Dubai. So far everything is the same in terms of what I remember of the culture, the weather, the rules, expat life, etc. But this time I feel very different - probably because Sven and I are in a different place in our marriage/life. I'm sure it also helps that we're in more comfortable digs and Steven has become so knowledgeable about how things work here. But I also think the time apart changed our perspectives and deepened our appreciation for one another in a way that's hopefully lasting.  It's really cheesy but I wake every morning grateful we get to be together this day and the next, without a plane to catch that'll take us one of us a world away. And while that feeling might eventually fade and be replaced by the mundane everyday rituals, for now the warm and fuzzy feeling still permeates my everyday. So in the present it's hard to get worked up about a non-working toilet, slightly too-warm rooms, or two flat tires in 2 weeks (yep, that happened).  Well, hard for me to get worked up - Steve is his own person.  ;)

He especially loves when I say this in response to one of those issues.

All joking aside though, I'm really content with where I am right now. I didn't end up bringing my job with me (last minute wrench), but I'm pretty pleased with how things worked out anyway. My days now are much slower paced and most of the time nothing very exciting is happening. I'm just a housewife (according to my visa), cooking up a storm, reading a bunch of books, and filling herself back up with all the things she once wanted to do/be/embody. It's boring but awesome and grounding in a way I can't quite describe yet. With each passing day I can feel the angst, the pressure, the competition, and the stress fading away as I slowly replace it with all the things I love and still want to embrace in the years to come. One day, one meal, one book, and one decision at a time.

I don't know what the upcoming months and years have in store, but that's okay because it no longer eats at me. And that, my dear ones, is the point.

Lately: Sleep Struggles

Steve has a new work schedule where he spends ~1/2 the week starting very early and ~1/2 the week on nights.  We are not adjusting as well as we'd like.

We're basically on a graveyard sleep cycle, with a couple biphasic sleep days thrown into the mix for the day shifts. It sounds easy when I write it, but the inconsistency has been rough. And keeping vampire hours is a little weird on the psyche (we're a lot less productive) and social life (it's 4am on Wednesday, everyone is sleeping). Luckily, we entertain ourselves pretty well.

And Phoebe is the very best "You're home!" greeter a person could ever ask for. She brings so much joy to each day.

But me, not so much.

All three of us are big nappers though, and it's really getting us through. We sleep at random times and for varying lengths, which I'm sure just throws in more inconsistency, but anything goes when we're trying to catch up on all the zzzz's we seem to be missing.

Every few days, we acknowledge that flipping our schedule back to being awake on days (rather than nights) is probably better from a productivity perspective. But the thought of increasing our sleep deprivation for a couple weeks while we transition...yeah, NO.

So for now, we're okay just gettin' by.

And very content with being so sleepy together.

The end.

I blog you

Hiiiii again.  More than a few of you have asked whether I'm going to keep blogging now that I'm back in the UAE.

When I started this blog in 2016 it was a practical way to keep everyone we love up to date as we moved from Washington state to Dubai. At the onset it was mostly a logistical decision; I didn't want to have the same conversation 15 times with 15 different people (I lazy). But Dubai was difficult in surprising ways and writing also became an important emotional and creative outlet for me. It was fun to share the pieces of our life with you and to hear back from you in the various forms of in person, digital, and text communication. In some ways, I think it brought us even closer to you than before.

But when I moved back to Washington in 2017 things got very meh. I didn't have the energy and rarely the inspiration so writing took a back seat and I focused on other things like Phoebe, and work, and gardening. I could have used the emotional and creative outlet just as much, but I just didn't have it in me.

And now I've been back in the UAE for ~6 weeks and it's been really, really great. The transition has been much easier (more on that later) and the "yay we're together again" glow is still firmly in place. But I just haven't felt like writing and I wasn't sure I'd ever get back to it. If you had asked me last week:

But a few days ago, Steven and I lost someone very close to our hearts. And in all the memories, and sadness, and lost opportunities swirling around I remembered why I started this blog to begin with:
to share
to connect
to be close in mind and heart even though we are far in distance
to love.

I had forgotten, but I remember now.

Recharging

Oh hi there.  I'm still alive, just recharging.

Phoebe and I moved back to the UAE about 3 weeks ago and all is well. We're all adjusting to our new normal (again) and so far it's going a lot better/easier/smoother than last time. I think we're all just so happy to be together again that it's hard to let the 'meh' get us down. Sure, there are weird/crazy/omg-wtf-is-this/annoying things happening - but that's life, right?

But enough of my "everything is great and we're so happy" post. Here's my dramatic glamour shot of Phoebe in the Kirkland WA backyard just before we left. It's probably the only thing we're really missing. And by "we" I mean Phoebe but she makes her feelings quite clear (everyday, multiple times a day) so we're feeling the pain too.

But on the bright side this hotel house is ginormous enough that we play indoor fetch everyday and Phoebe has too many beds and couches to pick from. Although I suspect her favorite thing is the increased square footage for spreading toy fluff. Apparently this is especially awesome right after housekeeping has come by.

So Phoebe's learning the upside of living here, too.

t - 36 hours = HELP ME

So we're in crunch time for our move happening at the end of this week and a bit (i.e. super) behind.

The plan was to finish up work today (a few hours), then go home and pack pack pack for 36 hours before my dad and the movers arrive.  By Wednesday night, everything would be packed and the moving truck would be on it's way to storage.

There isn't really enough time if you do it normally but our plan was to sleep a few hours, pack a bunch, sleep a few more hours, pack a bunch more -- until we're done.  Not a fun 36 hours, but doable.

And then at 7PM tonight MY DAD SHOWED UP AN ENTIRE DAY EARLY....WHILE WE WERE SLEEPING.

And so now my Dad and Steve are shooting the shit.  We need to be sleeping or packing, but instead we are siting on the couch talking about mail.

507 Days

...And just like that it's been 507 days since Sven and I started to live 1/2 a world apart.

Lately: The Psychology of Packing

...is not something I have figured out.

It's silly considering how many times I've done it (about 20x since leaving home at 18). But I just can't seem to make myself pack right now, even though I really want to avoid a fiasco like last time.

So this is how I spent my weekend:

 

Yep, that's right.  I didn't want to pack so badly that I WORKED OUT instead.