Music: Saturday Songs

It's a rainy, chilly day in Seattle and I'm thoroughly enjoying myself.  It's the perfect time to use my homemade stock for veggie stew, cuddling with Phoebe by the fire, reading the books I so desperately want but cannot seem to pick up during the week, and listening to music.

Here are a few songs on repeat today:







Oh and here's a fire in case you don't have one (or can't be bothered). I picked a subtle one that isn't HD or using professional sound equipment because this is closer to what my fireplace really sounds like:



Enjoy!

Take me back

I miss being on vacation.

I miss really good truffle brie and foie gras and bulots.

But mostly, I miss my husband.

Photo credit: this awesome photo was taken by our new friend Liz. She's an American living in Europe and takes wonderful photos. She and her family have been living abroad for a long time now, and I just really loved hearing her stories and perspective on life.  Follow her on IG at @lizzylinder or @brandotheiggy to see what I mean!

Fresh Face, Fun Mornings

I stopped wearing makeup...like, any at all.  I've gone about my life (including work!) for 2 whole weeks completely bare-faced, and it's really impacting the way I see/feel about myself.

A couple years ago, I started noticing that lots of the women I know and work with were ditching makeup and going au naturale.  And at the time my only thought was:

But in Dubai I had a lot more time for introspection. I knew I wasn't confident enough to feel completely at ease without makeup, and I didn't like that about myself.  But for various reasons, Dubai is not the kindest place to suddenly stop wearing makeup in public. So while I continued my inner dialogue about my self esteem, I was still going through my morning makeup routine.  

Fast forward nearly 2 years later, and I'm in a different place - mentally, emotionally, and globally.  I've done a lot of work to be a more "whole" person, and to feel content and happy with all the other parts of myself.  And long story short, our recent France trip was just the push I needed.  The trip uplifted me in such amazing ways - most importantly, reinforcing that I am enough, just as I am.

I know that's an incredibly simple statement, but it's a powerful one too. And these days, I'm really feeling it and am trying to live by it. So 2 Fridays ago, I stopped wearing makeup. I know that I don't need it, and I was willing to push myself to really get comfortable showing everyone what I am without it. 

So I did it and it's been two whole weeks.  And you guyyyyyyyyyys - it's amazing!  

One interesting and awesome side effect is that my mornings have been soooo much better. Logistically, I get an extra 20 mins each morning and I am fully utilizing it for a little extra sleep, or to sit and peacefully drink my coffee before leaving for work. And throughout the day, I feel so liberated and confident about being totally bare-faced. But what I didn't expect was how much happier my mornings would feel - it's like a mini party every time I remember I don't have to put on makeup. It's a fantastic way to start to my day. 

The end. (i.e. it's past my bedtime).

Snow and Snuggles

It's snowing (a teeny bit) in Seattle this weekend.  So naturally, I ditched my plans (I actually had some if you can believe it), lit a fire, roasted chestnuts, and snuggled with the Pheebs all weekend.

My entire life should be this cool.

Happy Halloween and Harvest Table

So many of you have been dressing up, going to parties, and/or taking the kids trick or treating. I love seeing all the photos and videos. Keep them coming!  I especially love seeing what each of the kids chose for a costume - it's such a hilarious and insightful glimpse into their little souls.

I came home feeling so inspired after the Manger workshop that I promptly went out and bought too much squash for one person and piled it all on the dining table. And then I moved the veggies from the back counter to the dining table as well, and it's a big ol' food party all the time.   

Seeing this produce bounty brings me joy in such a simple and visceral way.  Perhaps it's because I'm so drawn to well-sourced whole food, or because I feel so strongly about it, or that it reminds me of the cooking possibilities that lie ahead, or just because it's kinda pretty in a rustic way.  Whatever the combinations of reasons, I freaking love it.

Over the last week and a half, I've been making my way through the pile in the most delicious ways I can imagine: garlicky breakfast potatoes using homegrown rose fingerlings and duck fat that I rendered a few days prior, Kuri gnocchi with a brown butter and sage sauce, a variety of roasted root vegetables (some from my own garden) drizzled with homemade vinaigrette, chicken puttanesca using the last of my summer tomatoes, and of course lots of pumpkin soup.

This is what makes me happy.  So this is what I'm filling my dining table and time with this Autumn.

What about you?

illustration by Keith Ward for MotherEarthNews

Lately: Working after vacation

Coming back to work after my 2 week break was a bit of a mixed bag.  The trip allowed me to clear my head as I disconnected from the stressors of my daily life (about 90% work).  It took about a week(ish) for the fog of work to really fade away but afterwards I felt like I could see myself, Steven, and our life together with such clarity and appreciation.

Fog/shower steam, same diff

And simultaneously, the togetherness and the vacation itself filled me with all the things I adore.  It felt like my head and my heart were emptied of everything that weighed on me, and filled it with everything that lifts me up.  It was incredible.  

And then I came back full of optimism and at peace with my new-found clarity.  I went to work curious about the changes to the work itself, but still feeling the soothe of vacation.  

Monday morning

But when I said I cleared my mind, apparently I *really* did it.  I put all the details about my job on a rusty shelf in a back corner of my brain and then locked it a windowless room...and then ditched the keys in some other, known part of my brain.  

And as I reacquainted myself the old stressors showed up again, too.  But I tried to hold on to every last ounce of vacation sanity and I kept reminding myself of what's really important.  

"This is not important.  This is not important."

But that's a funny process because it involves some weird combination of me trying to stay Zen while trying to relearn everything at a dizzying pace.  And of course, my familiar malady of trying too hard to be good at things (even the ones I don't want) haunts me still.  So depending on exactly where I am in that journey, my inner dialogue is pretty varied.

When my people-pleasing, goody-two-shoes, habitual self clouds my judgment:

When I realize it:

And also realize this is the pace of my work-life:

But try to remember "This is not important"

When I achieve mental clarity mid-workday and see through all the shenanigans (and my complicit role in them)

For this weekend, my Sunday mantra:

Travel: France in Fall - sneak peek

I'm savoring every last memory, new friend, and photo from this trip. When I came back my heart was so full and my head so grounded and I really want to hold on to that for as long as possible. So I've been reminding myself of the goodness I felt every day since coming back.

One of those good things was being forced - partly by the lack of cellular, partly/gently by Sven - to unplug entirely from work and random web distractions. I still took a few snaps and shared a couple things online during the trip, but it was fairly sporadic. If you follow my Snap (heathmo.grizz) or IG (@oohheather) you may have noticed the sound of crickets. In the moments it was a combination of being too interested in the activity or company to bother, and during the lulls I was intentionally trying to break my habitual and half-hearted phone patterns. I'm trying to be more fully present in my real life by doing more outside of work, giving people and pursuits my full attention, and taking fewer meaningless photos (it just becomes mind clutter). Sometimes that means I end up not sharing anything at all (ahem, silent blog), and sometimes it means I'm sharing long after the time has passed. But in the constant struggle to re-prioritize and re-time my life, it's helping me.

But anyway, here's a smattering of photos for a sneak peek.  They're not the best photos - some are blurry and I haven't really edited them.  But I'm less concerned about that than I used to be.  The moment is shared because it was lovely and I cherished it.  And that can be enough.

Our Airbnb for the first week - a charming house in the middle of all the vineyards (and fog).

So much goodness.  And blurry, but whatev.

In Paris I couldn't resist getting a variety from the markets.  We ate it just like this - picking at it with our fingers from a towel spread on our hotel bed.  It was marvelous.  Clockwise from top - figs, semi-dried tomatoes, butter (is life), tinned octopus, bresaola (air-dried, salted beef), baguette, magret de canard (smoked Moulard duck), grapes.

Our last dinner of the trip.  Clockwise from top - foie gras, roasted peppers, chorizo, herbed goat cheese, roasted & herbed mushrooms, large shrimp (eaten peeled), small brown shrimp (eaten whole), whelks (boiled in broth and eaten by plucking meat out of the shell). Not pictured - baguette and wine!

Photo taken by our new friend Liz.  Check her out on IG @lizzylinder

Booked: Southern France

Tonight is Sven's last night in Seattle(ish) after spending 2 weeks here with Phoebe and I.  Needless to say, we've all got the feels.

But it's a little easier knowing we'll be together again next month -- in France!

We booked a 3-day cooking class/wine trip near Bordeaux last summer (which feels like a lifetime ago) and I've been anxiously awaiting its arrival.  We had no idea when we booked that we'd be living oceans apart, and the timing is kind of horrendous for work, but whatever.  I'm excited and I can't wait to cook and eat all the delicious food, drink all the wine, see the chateaus, and stumble through French words with hopeless pronunciation -- all with Steven.

Travel: Croatia - Plitvice Lakes

I've been dreaming about visiting Plitvice Lakes for 20+ years and when we went to Croatia in May I basically designed our entire trip so we could start there.  Aaaaand then I came down with a stomach bug for the first 3 days of our trip.  So we skipped about half of the park because I just couldn't deal (which turned out to be fine since half of it was closed due to flooding anyway).

Brought a packed lunch (bread, meats, and cheese) and enjoyed it on these big elevated platforms

The walkways were built to preserve the park - you can see everything without actually touching it

One of the hundreds of mini falls.

Even though we didn't see everything, it was still beautiful and I'm really pleased that we went.  Looking through my photos, I realize I was so busy ohhh-ing and ahhhh-ing that most of my memories are mental snapshots instead of digital ones.  And while that may not be very exciting for the blog, I think it's a good thing for me. ;)

Maybe one day we'll go back to see (and maybe even photograph) the rest of it...

Travel: A Day in Belgrade, Serbia

Last month, we had a long (enough) layover on in Belgrade, Serbia to venture out into the city.  We only had 6-7 hours, but it was just enough time to walk around and eat a bunch of stuff.  So it was great.

First, we started by walking around and grabbing a lite bite:

Yep.  Looks a lot like a bunch of other European cities.

The lighting was weird on patio but this Serbian sampler was just right.  There were 3 different kinds of smoked pork, local cheeses, a scoop of sour cream (SO GOOD), baked beans, and cornbread muffins (also delicious), and beeeeeer.

Then, we wandered around the Kalemegdan Citadel where they had a bunch of weapons on display (cannons, large guns, missiles, etc.)  But of course, the only photo I took was a wonky pano of the front lawn.

You can just barely see the dinosaur exhibit in the front - a worthy addition to any medieval fortress. 

Then back to another cafe for some more nibbles while we tried the local drink - quince brandy. It was served in tiny little bottles laying in a bundt(ish) pan full of ice chunks.  If you ever have the opportunity to try it - it's much stronger than it looks!

Tired but pleased.  The umbrellas were fun.

Quince brandy and more smoked meats

Aaaand that was it.  It was just enough to make us want to go back (me for the Danube, Steven for the smoked prosciutto).

Open Water Here I Come

You guyyyyyys - I am officially an Open Water Diver!

I did my certification while I was in the UAE in May.  I was a little nervous before we started, but it turned out really great!  I had such an awesome time and can't wait to go on more dives!

Travel: Abu Dhabi Days

Steve moved to Abu Dhabi in January and this trip was my first time seeing the new digs. (He did good.)  I'm still figuring out how I feel about the new city, but the water sure is pretty.

While on the trip, some of our parents asked for photos of us together...which we didn't really have/take.  Photos of ourselves have never been a priority.  But since we're living half a world away from each other, I've also started to wish we had a few more together. So we made an effort to take some photos together (which felt like a monumental effort to be honest).  But hahahaha we're not very good at it! We took about 10 photos and in nearly all of them one of us was mid-blink, or blurred, or just plain crazy-looking (>>STEVE<<). We started giggling about how terrible we are at it, and of course that turned out to be the good one (at least as good as it's gonna get).

Crazy eyes, eek-face, aaaaand giggles.  Good enough, right?

Travel: Croatia Sneak Peek

We're still in Croatia and loving every minute of it.  The water is cool and crystal clear, the sun is out and the temperature is perfect, and the people are very friendly.  We're drinking cheap beer, great wine, and eating lots of seafood, smoked ham, great pasta, and gelato.  So basically, we're in heaven.

There have been such gorgeous views that span as far as the eye can see.  I've been trying to capture the full majesty of what we're seeing, but it's hard to capture something that takes a full head span from left to right (for me anyway).  So I've been sharing a lot of Snapchat videos(heathmo.grizz), and I think I've used the Panoramic feature on my phone more in the last 2 days than in the last 5-6 years combined.

But here is a tiny sneak peek:

Driving from Split to Dubrovnik

Steven prepared breakfast on the patio in Dubrovnik (I have such an excellent husband).

That's it for now - we're off for a swim in the turquoise waters!

Phoebe is Five

I can't believe it's been a full year since Phoebe's fourth in Dubai.  This year was decidedly much less exciting, since I was laid up after tweaking my lower back (I'm fine, just old and out of shape).

Once I got to the couch, I couldn't move.  

And even though I know Phoebe doesn't give a crap about her designated birthday, it's still fun for me to spoil her on this occasion. So Phoebe gobbled up some dried lamb lung and enthusiastically played with her new hippo toy.

It's her birthday, so I threw it every time she asked...I stopped counting after 50.

Which, of course, was so exhausting that she crawled into bed around 7:30pm.

Don't judge my hideous comforter.

Happy Birthday sweet pup.