Gig Harbor House: Selling Again

Less than 36 hours after the 1st buyers backed out of the sale of our home, a new offer has been signed with new buyers!

Our real estate agent, Kari, is worth her weight in gold.

My reaction

Steve's

My virtual appreciation for Kari

Phoebe reclines

A couple weeks ago, we bought a pair of recliners so we'd have somewhere to sit while we waited for the couch we ordered.  Steve and I have never been that fond of recliners, but these were the right price, pretty comfy, and attractive (enough).  But apparently Phoebe is an old pro and she's been teaching us new ways to sit in our recliners (after she stopped being afraid of them, of course).

You can sit and watch TV

You can sit and get force cuddles

You can sit UNDERNEATH (but whyyy?)

And you can fly solo when Sven isn't around (her legs look tiny, don't they?)

Gig Harbor House: On Selling - Heather vs. Steven

As some of you already know, we put our house up for sale in Gig Harbor around mid-March.  We accepted an offer a few days after listing and have been moving through the escrow/closing process ever since.  Today, I talked to the title company to arrange the details for signing the final papers in a few days (getting things notarized takes a little more effort here).

And then tonight, I got an email saying the buyers will not be moving forward with the transaction (we're not sure why).  Thirty-three days into the process and like a week from closing, and they will not be buying our house.

WHAT.  

Ugh. As always, we'll just move forward.  The only thing we can do is re-list and try again.  But this is the range of emotions I had within the first 10 minutes of receiving the news:

And this was the range of Steven's emotions from the minute we heard until the moment he went to bed:

So basically, this is our marriage:

we're different, but we dig it

Culture Shock: 1 Month

Warning: this one is long, messy, and serious.

Culture shock - oh yeah, I've got it. I would say it's moderate and I definitely admit to getting frustrated and shedding some tears like, once a week (apparently that's how I deal).  To be fair it's not entirely specific to Dubai, and more about how I turned my entire life upside-down rather quickly.  It's hard to describe what it feels like but being a big empty house (no furniture) with the entire day ahead of me, nowhere to go (no driver's license or car yet), nothing interesting to do (no job and as happy as I am with the new washer, washing clothes is not very interesting), and no one to share it with (Steve's at work and PB's conversation is limited) has been challenging.  But if we're being honest, it's mostly because I'm not working.

But why?  Even before we moved I started asking myself what the point of my days were and whether I was living a full life.  I've spent the last ~10 years diligently cultivating my professional identity, to the point where I thought it was the same as my personal identity.  I spent 75-80% of my waking hours working (or doing work-related things), and the rest of my time trying to recover from it just so I could do it again.  I didn't really pursue hobbies, I haven't tried to make new friends since LA (although I am extremely grateful for the few I have made by accident), I wasn't consistently exercising, and I pretty much stopped learning new things unless they were related to work.  The only non-work things I devoted any effort to were Sven and Phoebe, and if we're being really honest I think they got the remnants of my day, not the best of it.  It was a dangerous mistake to make, but it seems so familiar to many of us.  And because I was successful at work, I let myself believe that I was living well.

But was I really?

Now that work is on hiatus, what am I left with?  Who am I, and what can I do (or know or offer) that isn't related to sitting in an office for 10+ hours a day?  The cold hard truth - not as much as I'd hoped.

So that's why it's been so hard.  I voluntarily turned myself into an empty shell-of-a-person (okay, maybe that's a bit dramatic) and now I have to put in the work to make myself whole again.  And sometimes that's scary...I feel so untethered in a new and unfamiliar way that really has nothing to do with location.  But then I remember we are in Dubai (OMG!), and why, and it helps ground my inner panic.  I'm still committed to the reasons we made this life change.  This break is necessary for me, and comes at the perfect time (and really the only time) to re-center myself, get back to healthy, and break the stress cycle.  (Haha, but first lemme stress about not being able to de-stress!)  There are interests and pursuits I've wanted to explore for so long, but never made the time because I always worked more instead.  And now they're just sitting there waiting for me...I just have to choose to pick them up.

So this is my new reality.  I'm going to experience, and learn, and explore things just because I like them, and keep my boundaries growing.  I'll stop reading job descriptions every day that say "Must be willing to work beyond normal hours and work well in challenging circumstances with strong personalities."  That's the same kind of thinking that got me here.  (Today is day 1 for that count.)  I'll go to the gym and sweat off 10 years of desk-life.  Read a fiction book just to enjoy the story.  Take Phoebe somewhere she can play like the crazy she is (because she needs it, too).  Learn all that stuff I've always been curious about, just because I'm interested enough.  Embrace my inner grandma and make a quilt.

And in my moments of self-doubt, it's helpful to know we're not the only ones who think this upheaval is worth it.  And that even the people I admire have struggled to rekindle their non-professional identities.  My friend Jon, recently wrote this about his own 6-month break, and it was exactly what I need to hear/read:

Over the last 6 months, I have been enjoying an incredible luxury. The luxury of time and space to learn about myself. 

...

Of course, there were times when it was all still incredibly scary. It’s amazing how much of your professional identity imprints onto your personal identity. Without that piece present, it can be very easy to get lost and feel defeated.

...

I now find myself feeling incredibly excited about the present. We have decided to take on a grand experiment. To continue spending more time in new places and trying new passions. To learn more about ourselves and the world around us. To continue to live unconventionally. To become location independent. We are embracing the fact that technology allows for miraculous situations these days.

And so, I'm feeling inspired and starting a new chapter.  I call it "making myself well-rounded again" but my ever-candid and eloquently gifted husband might call it "time to fix yo' self."  

What I do

What Steve says

What Steve really wants to say

Yep

Phoebe is four

May 1st is Phoebe's "official" birthday, or so we've decided.  We adopted her from the West Los Angeles Animal Shelter in July of 2012 and their best guess of her birthdate was end of April/early May of that same year.  So every year on May 1st, we give her a little extra love to mark the passing year.

This year, the treat was TWO (because she's a big girl) seared bone-in rump steaks!  And of course, her method of eating was full of PB flair.

Apparently all Phoebe really wants is a yoga mat of her own (but of course that one's mine).

Waiting patiently for her birthday meal (2 rump steaks and a little cabbage)

Starting the meal by digging around for cabbage first (weirdo), then saving the big steak for last by dropping it outside the bowl.

Dubai Life: Love at first wash

Have you ever hand-washed all your laundry...for months?  Without going too far down the rabbit-hole, let me just say there are at least 3,407 other things I would rather do than hand-wash fatigues.  But you do what you gotta do.

And this past week, our "gotta do" list included buying a new washing machine.  We started using it as soon as it was installed (after cleaning up the small flood of course), and I can honestly say I've never loved an appliance more.  I washed 6 loads of laundry the next day.

On a separate note, if you ever want to force yourself to downsize your wardrobe both in terms of wearing fewer things and buying next to nothing, I highly recommend hand-washing. 

When the installers break a water valve and you don't know where the water shut-off is, your house floods.

But who cares!? We can be lazy about clean clothes again!

Putting the tiles back because the shut-off valve wasn't up there either (it was 6 feet to the left).  But isn't he so cute?

Phoebe la foca

Phoebe is slowly getting used to the new people, sounds, smells, and neighboring animals. She's accustomed to our "move a lot" lifestyle and the transition from Gig Harbor has been pretty easy for her, or so it seems. She has spurts of frenzied activity that mostly involve ball chasing and doing countless "perimeter checks" (it's a territorial thing where she runs around the entire perimeter of the fence line looking for intrusions), which is something she started doing in Gig Harbor. And she still spends most of her day passed out on the tile floor (instead of the expensive dog bed) and most evenings whining/grumbling to herself (not very quietly) about hypothetical animals invading the backyard. 

So in short, she's the same mostly-lazy-but-sometimes-crazy pup that she's always been.  :)  

Except at night, when the neighbors cat jumps on the wall.  Then she is totally out of her mind and there's no consoling her.  This happens once a week.  One night per week she goes bonkers about a real animal.  The other six nights she vigilantly watches and grumbles about how THIS COULD BE THE NIGHT the cat reappears.  Poor Phoebe, and poor us for having to listen to it.

She loves sunny corners

And steals my yoga mat when I get up for water

We explore neighborhood shortcuts after a running in the park (clarification: she runs, I stand there)

Everything is made better with more naps

Gig Harbor vs Dubai - different scenery, same crazy dog